Cute things Glory and Gracie are doing now.

So, I have this made up word that I use with the girls.

Aye, aye—official definition: to soothe, by patting gently or cuddling.

When they are rough with the kitty, I tell them, “Aye, aye, kitty,” and they pet the kitty nicely, instead of slapping. Last night Glory fell over backwards on the floor and Gracie stood there watching her cry in surprise. I told Gracie, “Aye, aye, Glory. Go say aye, aye Glory.” Gracie toddles over to Glory, bends down to rub her belly, then grabs her hand to help her get up. So, sweet!

Both the twins like to slap their own belly when I strip off their shirt. It’s really cute.

The girls are using the word “owie,” a lot. When I change their diaper it’s, “owie.” When I change their clothes it’s, “owie.”  Their food is owie. The cold is owie. So, last night as I was changing Glory’s clothes it was owie again. And since she was bare, I slapped her playfully and said, “owie.” Then, I slapped her hand and said, “owie.” Then I slapped her belly and said, “owie.” She caught on right away and giggled contagiously as I slapped her bare skin everywhere. Glory has a very acute sense of humor and a contagious giggle.

Along with the owie theme, Gracie has been batting her mouth and crying, “owie” for the last 3 days. The drool is running like a river. She is teething something fierce. Almost nothing will relieve the pain of teething bicuspids.

Last weekend, my sister Kimberly offered to run to the Just Between Friends sale, in my stead to score snow pants, winter coats and snow boots. She saved me much time and headache. I was so grateful. I was also surprised by my little girls’ reaction to her purchases when she got home. Glory and Gracie were all eyes and ears when we got the purchases out of the bag. They very much knew that these were their clothes. Gracie lifted the hangers of sweaters and tops, inspecting the items and talking about them. We put on their new coats and they walked around the house looking down at them, talking in their baby chatter. Even the next morning Gracie went to pick through her new clothes again, holding them up, looking at them and chattering about them.

On occasion I have had the battle of the wills with Glory about what she should and should not be doing. She looks at me. I look back at her. She looks back at me and I stare her down, evidencing disappointment in my face. Sometimes it is just too much to stare back at in defiance, so she just closes her eyes.

The days when it is easier to switch to autopilot.

There was the day, my first Mother’s Day as a mother. I didn’t want to think about it I didn’t want to celebrate it. I just wanted it to pass like any other day. While I loved being a mother and loved my newborn twins, I didn’t want to commemorate—which was only a few small steps from—commiserating my predicament as a new mother. Yet, I felt a spark of joy when my sister-in-law came over and delivered flowers.

Days like today when I’ve got a fierce headache and just want to sleep. I will go to daycare and just pick up the twins, go home and feed them whatever they want to eat and will try to sleep on the couch as they play around me throwing toys and household items alike onto the floor and into the garbage.

There are the days when I miss my husband so badly, I could turn into a mournful wail. Instead, I quickly divest myself of the longing dreams and visions of companionship, pop some ibuprofen, drink a tincture of cramp bark and count the items on my to-do list and the money in the bank. Two nights ago I called him at 2 am, after waking. My thoughts spinning in circles, next to two babies snoring through noses full of mucus. I paid $2.50 for a 5 minute call. I told him I just wanted to hear his voice but really, I wanted so much more.